I’m A Parent

Being a parent is the toughest job in the world.
I’m a parent.
I have the toughest job in the world.
Now before you get all poltergeist on me, and bring up jobs like ‘lion tamer’ or ‘masseuse for sumo wrestlers’, here is some science.
I was once single, carefree, hitting the gym during the week and the naps on the weekend.
I had lots of carefree sex with my wife-to-be and I would occasionally spend the whole weekend fishing.
Now I’m a parent and a lot of that has changed.
I now wake to the dulcet tones of a toddler wanting potty, toys, weetbix or the ever elusive horse that apparently lives in the toy room. I usually resist, but the cute face and threat of tears forces me to leave my bed much earlier than planned.
I do a lot of things at much greater frequency than a person ever should.
I used to leave my washing to the end of the week, while nowadays it is an endless stream of clothes, blankets and towels. Why do we use so many freaking towels?
I wash more dishes, clean more floors, and am in some purgatory of fruit and vegetable cutting that never stops.
An interesting side note, I have a Psych degree, like most people, but I never really used it until I had a toddler and #### me if it’s not the handiest thing to have. Basic conditioning theory is saving me out here.
I don’t know how anyone does it alone. That’s just amazing.
I have a supportive, medically-trained wife who is much calmer than me, plus a cleaner, gardener and sitter, and even then I have no time for fishing, mtb, or anything one of the plethora of things that occupies my prior existence. I have enough time to just engage with my sons, cook the sustenance the family needs and work. That’s it!
Don’t get me wrong, I love the little guys with everything I have, but I would also love a lie-in.
Anyway, that’s my science.